Friday, June 13, 2008

Difference between Men and Women...

So I've decided I'm going to branch out a little on this whole blogging thing. Now not only will this be a place for me to share great music that I'm currently into, but a place where I share some of my own spiritual and other lessons I'm learning as well. I know Karie is working on starting a blog as well so stay tuned for that. Until I think of something useful to share I thought I'd post one of my old papers I wrote in college I recently found on my computer I really would love to hear any additional insight you may have on the topic... The assignment (in a nut shell) was to offer some perspective on the difference between Men and Women. Keep in mind this was just before I met Karie, and though much of it still generally rings true, it was written from my single and frustrated perspective...


Men and woman have traditionally been thought of as thinking very differently about things. For most of my experience with those of the opposite sex I have been in a state of confusion in my attempts to understand them. It seemed like whenever I tried to guess exactly what they were thinking, I came up short. Girls, as far as I was concerned, were nothing but a headache, a headache I simply couldn’t resist. That is one strange thing about men, we gripe and complain about the women in our lives and our failed attempts to try to understand them, but when it all comes down to it that’s the subject of our one-track mind.

An analogy might help us understand the difference between the sexes. Men could easily be compared to the books many of us read in the first and second grade—the Dick and Jane series. These books are all extremely basic and short. Typically there are about three words on a page. Only those elements required to make a complete sentence are stated. Short three-word sentences such as “See Dick run” or “Dick chases Jane” fill the entire book. Men, much like these books, are generally simple minded and basic in their thinking. Little thought goes into explaining any additional meaning his words might have.

On the contrary, woman could be compared to a Shakespearean play with many plots and subplots. Rarely will you understand the intricacies of the play the first time through. It is likely you will need a study group, an instructor, Cliffs Notes, and perhaps even background knowledge of history to grasp its full meaning. Very little is directly spelled out for you in Shakespeare, but much is left for you to interpret and figure out on your own. However, when the time is taken to understand, your love for it grows, and you are a better person for it.

The trouble is men try to read women as they would the “Dick and Jane” books. They interpret things literally and fail to look for the deeper meaning behind what’s said. They don’t even think of the tone of voice it might be said in, or that she might not be spelling out exactly what she means. This frustrates woman, for to them it is clear that saying something like “This kitchen is a mess” really means, “Will you help me clean the kitchen?” To further complicate things, women often interpret the “Dick and Jane” language of men as they would Shakespeare. Instead of taking the phrase “Dick chases Jane” at face value, women wonder, “How fast is Dick running?” or “Does Jane want to be caught or is she just playing hard to get?” In addition they might further analyze, “Is this a playful chase, or a stalker chase?”

These differences in thinking are the root of all confusion in dating. A simple, yet not so simple, solution is to meet half way. Men can take a little more time to listen and think about what women need, perhaps even listen a little more deeply to what they’re saying. Women could try to minimize the guessing games and interpret actions more literally. If we do, there will be much less confusion and more harmony in our lives.

1 comment:

  1. Honestly I think it's a lifetime pursuit to understand each other, Heavenly Father has a sense of humor putting us together and saying go for it. I guess that is what he means when he says that our weaknesses can become strengths.. or that maybe someday we will understand each other who knows....
    this is your cousin Rachel by the way.