Proposition 8... Comforting advice

There have been a lot of goings on with this whole issue of proposition 8 in California.  I have to say it has certainly made me think about a lot of things a little more in depth.  I understand a lot of the controversy involved from both sides and have some strong opinions, I think I might think it through a little more before I post my thoughts about all the issues.

What I will say is I lost a lot of sleep last night.  I am a little frustrated that the LDS church is coming off so poorly through all this in the media.  More so I am disappointed, worried and a little sickened by the protests that have escalated to persecution. I understand the protests, and frankly am grateful that we live in a country where we can protest, but it's gotten a little out of hand here.  Like I said I'll post more of my thoughts about it when I'm a little more centered.

In the meantime I remembered this timely and comforting talk from General Conference, and it has reminded me again that we are led by apostles and prophets, and further more good men.  It's important that we stay centered in our beliefs, and more important the love of Christ.  Christ certainly stood up for his beliefs and didn't compromise, but was always loving and understanding of those who disagreed with him, persecuted him, and even crucified him.  This talk reminds us how we ought to handle the recent flood of difficulty and those who believe differently than we do. The church is still true my friends, and we are led by a prophet, if you're struggling with the issue, pray about it.  Love, Joy and Peace = Truth.  Live in the truth, read the truth, and study the truth.

If listening to the talk is easier here's a link to that here.

Christian Courage: The Price of Discipleship

Elder Robert D. Hales
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Answering our accusers in the Savior’s way.

We have gathered together as one, we have taken upon us the name of Jesus Christ, and we are Christians. One of the questions we would ask: why then, if we have that love of the Savior, would someone want to be an antagonist or to attack us?

Recently a group of bright, faithful young Latter-day Saints wrote down some of the most pressing questions on their minds. One sister asked, “Why doesn’t the Church defend itself more actively when accusations are made against it?”

To her inquiry I would say that one of mortality’s great tests comes when our beliefs are questioned or criticized. In such moments, we may want to respond aggressively—to “put up our dukes.” But these are important opportunities to step back, pray, and follow the Savior’s example. Remember that Jesus Himself was despised and rejected by the world. And in Lehi’s dream, those coming to the Savior also endured “mocking and pointing . . . fingers” (1 Nephi 8:27). “The world hath hated [my disciples],” Jesus said, “because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world” (John 17:14). But when we respond to our accusers as the Savior did, we not only become more Christlike, we invite others to feel His love and follow Him as well.

To respond in a Christlike way cannot be scripted or based on a formula. The Savior responded differently in every situation. When He was confronted by wicked King Herod, He remained silent. When He stood before Pilate, He bore a simple and powerful testimony of His divinity and purpose. Facing the moneychangers who were defiling the temple, He exercised His divine responsibility to preserve and protect that which was sacred. Lifted up upon a cross, He uttered the incomparable Christian response: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

Some people mistakenly think responses such as silence, meekness, forgiveness, and bearing humble testimony are passive or weak. But, to “love [our] enemies, bless them that curse [us], do good to them that hate [us], and pray for them which despitefully use [us], and persecute [us]” (Matthew 5:44) takes faith, strength, and, most of all, Christian courage.

The Prophet Joseph Smith demonstrated this courage throughout his life. Though he “suffer[ed] severe persecution at the hands of all classes of men, both religious and irreligious” (Joseph Smith—History 1:27), he did not retaliate or give in to hatred. Like all true disciples of Christ, he stood with the Savior by loving others in a tolerant and compassionate way. That is Christian courage.

When we do not retaliate—when we turn the other cheek and resist feelings of anger—we too stand with the Savior. We show forth His love, which is the only power that can subdue the adversary and answer our accusers without accusing them in return. That is not weakness. That is Christian courage.

Through the years we learn that challenges to our faith are not new, and they aren’t likely to disappear soon. But true disciples of Christ see opportunity in the midst of opposition.

In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Abinadi was bound and brought before the evil King Noah. Although the king vigorously opposed Abinadi and eventually sentenced him to death, Abinadi boldly taught the gospel and bore his testimony anyway. Because Abinadi took advantage of that opportunity, a priest named Alma was converted to the gospel and brought many souls unto Christ. The courage of Abinadi and Alma was Christian courage.

Experience shows that seasons of negative publicity about the Church can help accomplish the Lord’s purposes. In 1983, the First Presidency wrote to Church leaders, “Opposition may be in itself an opportunity. Among the continuing challenges faced by our missionaries is a lack of interest in religious matters and in our message. These criticisms create . . . interest in the Church. . . . This provides an opportunity [for members] to present the truth to those whose attention is thus directed toward us.”¹

We can take advantage of such opportunities in many ways: a kind letter to the editor, a conversation with a friend, a comment on a blog, or a reassuring word to one who has made a disparaging comment. We can answer with love those who have been influenced by misinformation and prejudice—who are “kept from the truth because they know not where to find it” (D&C 123:12). I assure you that to answer our accusers in this way is never weakness. It is Christian courage in action.

As we respond to others, each circumstance will be different. Fortunately, the Lord knows the hearts of our accusers and how we can most effectively respond to them. As true disciples seek guidance from the Spirit, they receive inspiration tailored to each encounter. And in every encounter, true disciples respond in ways that invite the Spirit of the Lord. Paul reminded the Corinthians that his preaching was “not with the enticing words of man’s wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power” (1 Corinthians 2:4). Because that power resides in the Spirit of the Lord, we must never become contentious when we are discussing our faith. As almost every missionary learns, Bible bashing always drives the Spirit away. The Savior has said, “He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me” (3 Nephi 11:29). More regrettable than the Church being accused of not being Christian is when Church members react to such accusations in an un-Christlike way! May our conversations with others always be marked by the fruits of the Spirit—”love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, [and] temperance” (Galatians 5:22–23). To be meek, as defined in Webster’s Dictionary, is “manifesting patience and longsuffering: enduring injury without resentment.”² Meekness is not weakness. It is a badge of Christian courage.

This is especially important in our interactions with members of other Christian denominations. Surely our Heavenly Father is saddened—and the devil laughs—when we contentiously debate doctrinal differences with our Christian neighbors.

This is not to suggest that we compromise our principles or dilute our beliefs. We cannot change the doctrines of the restored gospel, even if teaching and obeying them makes us unpopular in the eyes of the world. Yet even as we feel to speak the word of God with boldness, we must pray to be filled with the Holy Ghost (see Acts 4:29, 31). We should never confuse boldness with Satan’s counterfeit: overbearance (see Alma 38:12). True disciples speak with quiet confidence, not boastful pride.

As true disciples, our primary concern must be others’ welfare, not personal vindication. Questions and criticisms give us an opportunity to reach out to others and demonstrate that they matter to our Heavenly Father and to us. Our aim should be to help them understand the truth, not defend our egos or score points in a theological debate. Our heartfelt testimonies are the most powerful answer we can give our accusers. And such testimonies can only be born in love and meekness. We should be like Edward Partridge, of whom the Lord said, “His heart is pure before me, for he is like unto Nathanael of old, in whom there is no guile” (D&C 41:11). To be guileless is to have a childlike innocence, to be slow to take offense and quick to forgive.

These qualities are first learned in the home and family and can be practiced in all our relationships. To be guileless is to look for our own fault first. When accused, we should ask as the Savior’s Apostles did, “Lord, is it I?” (Matthew 26:22). If we listen to the answer given by the Spirit, we can, if needed, make corrections, apologize, seek forgiveness, and do better.

Without guile, true disciples avoid being unduly judgmental of others’ views. Many of us have cultivated strong friendships with those who are not members of our Church—schoolmates, colleagues at work, and friends and neighbors throughout the world. We need them, and they need us. As President Thomas S. Monson has taught, “Let us learn respect for others. . . . None of us lives alone—in our city, our nation, or our world.”³

As the Savior demonstrated with Herod, sometimes true disciples must show Christian courage by saying nothing at all. Once when I was golfing, I barely brushed up against a large cholla cactus, which seems to shoot needles like a porcupine. Thorns from that plant stuck all over my clothing, even though I had barely touched the cactus plant. Some situations are like that plant: they can only injure us. In such instances, we are better off to keep our distance and simply walk away. As we do, some may try to provoke us and engage us in argument. In the Book of Mormon, we read about Lehonti and his men camped upon a mount. The traitorous Amalickiah urged Lehonti to “come down” and meet him in the valley. But when Lehonti left the high ground, he was poisoned “by degrees” until he died, and his army fell into Amalickiah’s hands (see Alma 47). By arguments and accusations, some people bait us to leave the high ground. The high ground is where the light is. It’s where we see the first light of morning and the last light in the evening. It is the safe ground. It is true and where knowledge is. Sometimes others want us to come down off the high ground and join them in a theological scrum in the mud. These few contentious individuals are set on picking religious fights, online or in person. We are always better staying on the higher ground of mutual respect and love.

In doing so, we follow the example of the prophet Nehemiah, who built a wall around Jerusalem. Nehemiah’s enemies entreated him to meet them on the plain, where “they thought to do [him] mischief.” Unlike Lehonti, however, Nehemiah wisely refused their offer with this message: “I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down: why should the work cease, whilst I leave it, and come down to you?” (Nehemiah 6:2–3). We too have a great work to do, which will not be accomplished if we allow ourselves to stop and argue and be distracted. Instead we should muster Christian courage and move on. As we read in Psalms, “Fret not thyself because of evildoers” (Psalm 37:1).

Evil will always be with us in this world. Part of mortality’s great test is to be in the world without becoming like the world. In His Intercessory Prayer, the Savior asked His Heavenly Father, “I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil” (John 17:15). But even as the Savior warned of persecution, He promised peace: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. . . . Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27). I testify that with the mantle of His peace upon us, the First Presidency’s promise will be fulfilled: “The opposition which may seem hard to bear will be a blessing to the kingdom of God upon the earth.”⁴

To my inquiring sister and all who seek to know how we should respond to our accusers, I reply, we love them. Whatever their race, creed, religion, or political persuasion, if we follow Christ and show forth His courage, we must love them. We do not feel we are better than they are. Rather, we desire with our love to show them a better way—the way of Jesus Christ. His way leads to the gate of baptism, the strait and narrow path of righteous living, and the temple of God. He is “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). Only through Him can we and all our brothers and sisters inherit the greatest gift we can receive—eternal life and eternal happiness. To help them, to be an example for them, is not for the weak. It is for the strong. It is for you and me, Latter-day Saints who pay the price of discipleship by answering our accusers with Christian courage.

I conclude by making the testimony of Mormon my own: “Behold, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I have been called of him to declare his word among his people, that they might have everlasting life” (3 Nephi 5:13). I bear my special witness of Him—that our lives can be everlasting because His love is everlasting. That we may share His eternal, unconditional love with our brothers and sisters everywhere, is my humble prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

from lds.org

http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-947-22,00.html

Hope Through General Conference

Well I've started this post 10 or 15 times, but have been afraid that it would come off a bit whiny, and hopefully I'm centered enough now that it won't but hey we'll see.  I've learned a lot about myself and life through the challenges Karie and I have faced in recent months, some good things, some bad.  Mostly though I've learned how to appreciate the blessings I have been guilty of taking for granted.  

This is the part that might sound whiny, but hopefully it won't by the end of this post.  August began as perhaps the greatest month of my life.  I had never been happier.  For starters I had recently received a diagnosis for the chronic kidney stones that I have been slowed by for the last several years.  After a lengthy struggle with stones, and the almost equally frustrating process of finding a Dr who would, and could treat them adequately I finally saw light at the end of the tunnel.  Next I got a job with a company that not only was a better job with greater opportunity, it was something I can envision becoming a career. Add to this Karie and I went to some great concerts (James Taylor, John Mayer, Jack Johnson) and on a fun trip to the Oregon coast.

The most amazing thing however was I was an expecting father.  This alone was enough to fill my whole body with joy and motivation.  Seriously I never imagined I could be that excited about anything.  Because of that driving thought I felt on top of my game in anything I did.  It was the wind in my sails and I could do anything.

Now I'll try not to sound whiny here and just try to illustrate how things sort of unraveled from there. It started with a trial I'm used to, a kidney stone.  It was a doosy as pain goes, and it took me right out of commission. It quite frankly took all the wind right out of my sails.

The next day I found out on my way to work that my Grandma J had passed away, and was sent to spend a little time with my family. Later that day Karie and I found out that we had miscarried.  This crushed me in a way I can't really elaborate on.  My new company allowed me to go home the next day and take care of my family (they have been amazing through this whole thing.) I had the opportunity to conduct my grandma's funeral and see a lot of family that I don't see to often and that was great.

Since then I have had four kidney stones, pretty much constantly for the last month and a half, and struggled to do much of anything productive.  I have been nearing the end of my rope when it comes to tolerating these kidney stones.  The constant pain, plus the frustrations and trials we've been facing seems unbearable at times. Many of you know that I am also the bishop of our ward, which has been amazing, but constantly challenging.  It would be an understatement to say I've had a hard time fulfilling my responsibilities the way I would like to.   

In a nutshell it has been somewhat of a battle to feel like myself again, it has felt like whenever I come close to getting on top of things, there's a new soul stretching challenge that comes in my path.  It has forced me to improve my relationship with my Heavenly Father, and has again verified to me how important my near perfect wife is to me. 

Before I continue painting the gloomy picture that was September, I have to express how grateful I am for my wife, modern day prophets, general conference, and the power of the Atonement.

I wish I could cover how all those things have impacted me over the last month but that would take forever. I would, however, like to talk a little bout President Dieter F. Uchdorfs talk in General Conference.  Hearing this talk has been one of more important turning points for me. On Saturday afternoon he gave one of the finest discourses I have ever heard on hope. You can listen to it here. While it is filled with many great insights on hope, how to cultivate it, and how it benefits our lives, the lesson that initially stuck me was the contrast of hope and despair.

Of despair he said, "The adversary uses despair to bind hearts and minds in suffocating darkness. Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be. Despair kills ambition advances sickness pollutes the soul and deadens the heart. Despair can seem like a staircase that leads only and forever downward."

Hope on the other hand is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn it encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father, who has prepared a way for those who seek for eternal truth in a world relative confusion and fear."

This is just one of the many great illustrations in this talk.  I needed to hear this talk in a major way, because I have recently felt myself on that "staircase that leads only and forever downward"  This talk has helped to inspire hope within me again.  Hope that my current trials will someday turn to my benefit.  Hope that Karie and I will soon have the opportunity to have a sweet baby.  Hope that I will soon be through these kidney stones and can live a normal life. Hope that I will be able to live the gospel and be the kind of husband my wife deserves.  Hope that I can be a good bishop, and can be there for those in my ward who need the help of a good bishop.  Hope that I will be able to support my family, and be productive in my job.  Hope that in the words of President Uchdorf I "will never allow despair to overcome my spirit."

President Uchdorf's words ring true.  When I hope for these things, I am filled with a kind of light, or strength.  Ideas come on how I might be made equal to the tasks that lie ahead.  Assurance comes that somehow through these trials, my weaknesses will become strengths.  Mostly I feel like Father in Heaven is aware of me and my personal struggles, fears, pains, doubts, fears. and shortcomings.  This only comes as a byproduct of hope.

When I allow myself to doubt, it inspires despair, exactly as that quote describes.  It brings a suffocating darkness that stunts any possibility of progression.

When I choose to be hopeful, I am assured that my Heavenly Father loves me, and knows all things. He knows "the end from the beginning."

All in all it has reminded me how to hope after a difficult stretch of trials and frustrations.  

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, and it's far more personal than I would usually post.  So I hope you'll forgive me if it's made you uncomfortable, perhaps I'll remove it if that's the case.  I just felt I needed to share some of the things that have been going on with me.  I've been inspired by some of your blogs (thank you Mandy) and felt perhaps someone needed to hear some of this stuff. So if you're still reading, sorry and thanks.

If you didn't get a chance to hear this talk on Saturday, check out the link. 

President Uchtdorf - Sat AM Session (Hope)

I always appreciate comments, so please if you have anything to add i'd love to hear it.

Our Sad News

I may write more about my thoughts and feelings on this later, but they are somewhat tender right now so we'll see.

Many of you know Karie and I have been very excited about our news that we were expecting our first baby in March.  Well unfortunately this week on Wednesday, we found out that we have had a miscarriage.  We found this out the same afternoon my Grandma J passed away.  

We are heartbroken about this news but trying to stay positive.  The only reason I'm posting this here is it's much easier to let people know this way, than it is in person. Also thank you to everyone who has offered their support, through emails, flowers, etc.  It means a lot to know you're there.

We will also miss our Grandma J.  I'll try to write a short tribute to her on here soon, but I know she is much more comfortable right now.

A few one line memories of Granny J:

Taffy cookies, Steal the Pile, Coke, Readers digest Jokes, Fiery Red Hair, Christmas Morning, the Charleston, the Lumina (aka IrmaJ) and so many more.

 



 

The quote I used at Granny J's funeral

"Though otherwise a “lively” attribute, hope stands quietly with us at funerals. Our tears are just as wet, but not because of despair. Rather, they are tears of heightened appreciation evoked by poignant separation. Those tears of separation change, ere long, becoming tears of glorious anticipation." - Elder Neal A. Maxwell Hope through the Atonement of Jesus Christ